My notes from Richard Dawkins' lecture at USC

-Evolutionary Biology

-The Greatest Show on Earth (newest book)

-Dawkins defends absolute truth

-Says evolution is believed by all--even preachers and popes--"we just differ on when"

-Quoted the Bible, has religious terms down

-Overarching point: evolution is a fact, beyond doubt, flood of evidence

-No unbiased reader will deny evolution after reading my new book (*there is no such thing as an unbiased reader)

-Chapter called 'Missing Link':

-Creationists fault evolutionists on missing links

-"We're lucky to have fossils at all."

-Human fossils. The first one discovered was 3.6million yrs. old

-Chapter on Embryology and Evolution:

-40% of Americans accept the Bible as literal (creationists)

-Why are certain animals only on certain continents?

-28% of Britan gets its thoughts on creation from the Flintstones...believing that humans cohabitated the earth with dinosaurs

-Evolutionary arms race (gradual escalation in evolution) The leapord gets more effective at hunting, the gazelle gets more effective at running away

-"Why would God make 2 forces that continually outwit each other equally?" Leapord vs. gazelle

-"There's grandeur in the evolutionary biology view of life."

-Incorporates Darwin

-The fact of our existence is almost too overwhelming to bear

-Problem of our existence- Darwin

-Existence and complexity

The wheel of life, it's turning

Well, well, what to write about? I could tell you about this book I've been reading by Phillip Yancey. It's unlike his other books; it's geared towards skeptics, and he asks his fellow skeptics to just consider an invisible word--just consider the possibility of it and observe life in light of an invisible world. I'm 3/4s of the way through with it, and I'm a big fan. No biased, outrageous, hell, fire and brimstone statements...just musings about the possibility of truth in the Christian world view. He's very honest and blunt, but very learned. He incorporates quotes from scholarly men and women throughout the whole book from Soren Kierkegard to The Elephant Man from the eighteenth century.

I could also tell you about my ongoing job search...American Eagle has upgraded me to working a whopping 2 days a week...haha, oh brother. I've applied to a lot more places... restaurants, personal assistant jobs, a farm, doctor's offices, department and clothing stores, sporting goods stores, etc, and still nothing. Bummer.

In the mental department, I've met with one of my professors, and I plan to meet with another in the near future, I've attended a conference by a professor of philosophy at a local church, I've decided to start attending Church of the Apostles here in Columbia which is known as an "intellectual" church, if you will, where I hope to soak up some wisdom. A bunch of CIU profs actually go there, as well. I have been reading books, listening to sermons, and watching lectures out of the Truth Project, and lastly, I attend theology class on Monday afternoons. I have interesting yet mentally laborious conversations with close friends, and then I get to try all this new knowledge out in real life situations...my life has definitely been less boring since my mind was shocked back to life 18 months ago! This is not the type of adventure I always expected or wanted, but now that it's here knocking on my minds door all the time, I never turn it away. What's ironic is that I prayed for this...to be a constantly aware and thinking person, taking cultural notes and being conscious of the leanings of my heart and mind. When I asked for this unnatural consciousness, I did not know that I was inviting insomnia, stress, headaches, hours and hours of time, energy and tension within relationships. There is a cost to this newfound treasure. I have to remind myself to not see the knowledge in itself as the end goal; it is truth that I am to value and knowledge is only the vehicle or catalyst that aids me to reach towards it more and more.

Or...I could tell you about how much I'm loving not being in school...the homework, the nasty cafeteria food, sitting in class for hours while fighting off stress, fatigue and ADD tendencies. I don't miss required chapel 4 days a week or biweekly required hall meetings. I don't miss living in the dorm room--always afraid of catching an irreversible disease from the asbestos over my head and having to coordinate or dodge a roommate's schedule--whatever the case may be. Those are the pros...there are cons, but I don't really want to discuss those at this time.

In a week, I am taking my first trip to New York...not the city but the state. Lydia, Allison, Anna and I are going to Lydia's home for fall break. Considering the fact that Lydia has 7 siblings and lives in a beautiful area of the state, it is sure to be an unforgettable experience, and I'm really excited to go! If all works out with our passports, we might also be visiting Niagra Falls! That would be awesome!

Well, I guess I've told you enough for now, and now I'm going to go read some more books, listen to some more lectures, lose more sleep, attain some more wrinkle lines on my forehead and enjoy the outdoors before it gets bitingly cold.

And life rolls on...

Even though I'm taking the semester off from CIU, I sit in on a 3-hour Theology class on Monday afternoons. Yesterday, we talked about a lot of things including canonization, authority and authenticity of Scripture, the leading of the holy Spirit, doubt, etc. Our prof mentioned this movement that I had never heard of before called the New Atheist movement. It intrigued me so I was researching it, and found a good article on it. It is very relevant to us as a nation and as thinking Christians. Here's the link...

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20070625/aronson

Short Post

Wow...I was just looking over my blogs, and...my blogs are long! I don't intend for this one to be, though. I've been doing a lot of thinking recently about relationships and people and their roles-- The importance that we place on people and their value in our lives. I've lived in at least 3 different cultures in polar opposite regions of the world, and people are either not valued enough and the individual is the most important thing or they can be valued too much and we are foolish enough to rest all of our fullfilment and happiness on the shoulders of another human being. I have certainly been guilty of both, but I also think that I have more of a healthy view of people and their roles and relationships than the person who has only experienced their culture and way of thinking. How do I live in the American culture and value relationships differently than Americans? Maybe I wouldn't feel the tension, but I look American and talk American, and therefore I'm expected to BE American...but I'm not and can't fully be no matter how hard I try. I know why my blogs are so long...I write about one topic, like relationships, and then I feel the need to expound and give details about my thoughts because the issue is linked to so many others, and there are contributing factors that I feel I must survey to get a balanced picture of what is...of reality. In case you were wondering as I sometimes have, about the purpose of this blog, it is the quest of reality and what really is--not what is perceived or traditionally assumed, but what really is...what really is life? Who really am I? And what does it matter?

My God, My God
You cannot leave me
I'll wrap my arms around your arm
And I'll never let go
I could never let go
You pat my head as if to say goodbye
I won't say goodbye
I refuse to leave your side
Voices distracting
Taunt my gaze away
Telling me their theories
Their formulas and their lies
I don't want that, I don't want them
I just want to forever gaze into your eyes
I can't let go
I wont let go
I find myself in You
If you walk away from me now
I wont know what to do
If you walk away, You leave with all of me
Well...all of me that's fit to see
The more steps you take
The more my spirit breaks
The cool breeze leaves
In walks terror
It has come to seize
I try to run, I try to hide
All the time looking for the absence of my pride
I've been to all our spots
I don't find you there
I've gotten up early
I've stayed up late
I've been trampled underfoot
But still you tell me to wait?!
How could you?! What are you doing?
Leaving me here like this?!
I can't breathe another breath
Without a divine kiss
Where did you go?
Don't you miss me as much as I miss you?
No, I guess not
You're the hero
I'm the zero...
I'm pretty messed up, too
But God I'm begging you
Through the sobs and tears
Run back now, give back my joy
Relieve all my fears
You're running away from me now
I want to stop you, but how?
I can't get any lower to the ground
Oh well, if you have to leave, just go
I can see there are just too many things that I do not know
I'm sorry for whatever I did
I wish I could reverse time, believe like a kid
I just went 10 rounds with an invisible foe
I'm knocked down and bleeding
I keep falling and falling...each time a new low
I don't even look for you
Not anymore
When I hear someone knocking
I know it's not you at the door
To think I actually trusted you for all of that time
I actually believed that you would really be mine
I actually trusted you with my whole self
I didn't know you would push me to the back of the shelf
I'm sorry I didn't have the faith to stay
I climbed down from the shelf and showed myself out
I guess my belief in you wasn't that stout
I know I can't restore
That's what I need you to do
My hearts shattered into a thousand pieces
Can you fix that, too?
I looked elsewhere for a temporary fix
But me and this world...we just don't mix
My only home is You
And you're the only place I can rest
Are you depriving me?
Or did I catch the devil's eye?
When I started believing you could never, ever lie
My days with you were so sweet
Just sitting at your feet
I could not have been any happier than the moments when we did meet
I could sit in silence for all of eternity just sitting at your throne
Smiling up at you, when in your likeness I have grown
There is no aspiration that I have in this life
Than to be with you always, amidst all the strife
Rich or poor, I want nothing more
Than to have you, sweet Jesus
Have you forevermore
So this I plead
From the dust and the ash
Please...my soul can't take one more dash
Restore your presence in my life
Melt away the nightmares, the tears and the strife
Banish my enemy, drive him away
Cut off his feet
So that we'll never meet
Like we do these days
Up in my brain
I find him toying, laughing, scoffing
In my sleep, in the day, in every conversation, in every way
I can't escape him
I need you!
The more I run the more demons he sends after me, too
I have claw marks running rampant down my back
Of teeth marks and scratches I have no lack
My insides are in tatters
My soul tries to hold on
But without you oh God
All of me is gone
Return to me swiftly
On heavenly feet
Tread softly
And in my sorrow let's meet
Because I know you can be tender and comforting too
And right now all I need or want or hope for is You

Poem

A few observations...
I have watched an insane amount of girly movies over the past few months including He's Just Not That Into You, P.S. I Love You, The Diary of Briget Jones, etc. In all of these movies there were several romantic relationships between a girl and guy in a live-in situation. Not married but living together, and I'm beginning to see the trend of that theme in chick flicks. How common that is becoming.

In other news, I wrote this poem this morning...
A rare bloom
A bright spingy thing
Unfurls, lets fly
And unleashes everything
not trying to be seen
Not trying to be loud Not buried underneath
But head not in the clouds
Bounding out in all the wonder
Wide-eyed and learning
It rejoices in the thunder
It samples the world
Becomes a tad bit fatter
There are sour things
But they less than matter
She carries along
Learning to sing
The whole time hearing bells
From eternity's tower ring
Then one day she recieved all the frowns
Beating her up, pulling her down
People--no longer satisfied or pleased
Brought her low
Brought her to her knees
She ran and frantically ran
Searching for the warmth of the sun
She ran to the edge of herself
But still she found none
So she marched home in the rain
Through the mud and the distain
She threw off her colored robe
And was attended by sorrow
And was accompanied by sorrow
Everyone's wrath had she incurred
By way of being different
Of daring to live wide-eyed and free
And caring about those who didn't
The rain and dark clouds have marred her view
But she keeps watching for a sign of You
A ray of Son shining through

-Ashley Cheshier
8/14/09

Realization, Reads, Retards, Red White and Blue

Well, I've felt very compelled to write the past few days, but as always...all I have is scattered thoughts. Separate entities lacking cohesion, but I know they fit together somehow. One interesting thing of note is that I have been having nightmares for several months now...every...single...night. It's not very restful to say the least. But last night, I had a nightmare of outlandish proportions. I dreamed that I was pregnant and right after I found out I downed about 3 beers. How's that for twisted for ya?! I'm ready to shake off that mental image any time now...

Anyways, in actual instead of virtual news, my family and I made the 13 hour drive to Iowa and back for the 4th of July to visit some old family friends. A lot of people think that I'm originally from Alabama, but I was actually born in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. You may remember it from when it was flooded about a year ago; it was all over the news. I've had a lot of blasts from the past considering my history of travel and moving and getting to know lots of people. This time was different for some reason. Whenever we would go to Iowa in the past it was a bit of a painful experience because I remember how life was when we lived there, and what's more is what my life would have been like if we would have never left. I really, really like Iowa. It's spread out with lots of green and trees and grass and farms and nature. It's deer are bigger than down in Alabama which makes for better hunting. Dad says that's because deer don't eat cotton. ;) I think this visit was easier, too, because I know better who I am.

I've always heard people talk about self-discovery and its benefits, but I always associated self-discovery with yoga and reading boring books and analyzing your childhood in the most excruciating way possible. Whereas, my stereotype had some substance to it, I didn't have it exactly pinned down. It's learning about WHY you do the things you do, why you react the way you react and what you value and the order in which you value the things that you do. This process however involved, time-consuming and sometimes frustrating as it is, is worthwhile--I am being convinced of that daily. I used to practice introspection and mental exploration into the way things are daily as a young teenager, but it was often so inconclusive that I ended up with more questions and confusion than I started with. I was looking for answers, to clear the water--not muddy it more--so I just stopped thinking deeply one day when I was 16. Big mistake. I have a lot of catching up to do now, but now I am much better equipped having experienced more, learned more and expanded in my mind.

I consider it my privilege and honor to be able to use my resources and abilities to help other people, and I am of better use to them when I am self-aware. Why? Because I can anticipate my reactions to situations and statements, I can exercise self-control more accurately and know why I do what I do. I don't know if this is making any sense, and I'm not saying it the way I want to, but I think everyone would agree that when you know what's going on inside of your head, it's a lot easier to deal with external things and other people. On the other hand, when you don't know why you are feeling the way you are or thinking the types of thoughts that you are thinking, it becomes supremely frustrating to communicate clearly and act how you want to act. I hope that made some kind of sense.

Okay, lighter subject...I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic last night, which only confirmed my anti-girly movie sentiment. I just really don't like chick flicks most of the time. I do like 13 Going on 30 with Jeniffer Garner, but I have yet to figure out why I like that one even though it's not that different from any other chick flick of choice. Oh well, another mystery to explore...haha.

Well, since we're talking about entertainment, I had a whole stack of books to read this summer on apologetics and atheism and serious books, but so far I have only read 3 books...none of which were on that extensive list. I read The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka the famous writer and philosopher from Europe, The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo about a young Spaniard who travels to Egypt on his "personal journey"--pretty interesting/weird book, and I just finished all 542 pages of The Oath by Frank Peretti which was freakin awesome. I used to read his children's stories when we lived in Papua New Guinea, but I've never read his books for older audiences. I highly recommend that book.

Tomorrow is my brother, Hunter's, 17th birthday...boy is that weird. I still haven't gotten him anything, but I'm thinking about getting him some candy that he likes...cause I'm poor and he wont care.

Well...you might know the saga about how this I had a possible photography job that fell through because the lady never called me back and wasn't there when I dropped by, and then I got "hired" at Victoria's Secret over a month ago, but my boss has never called and has refused to return any of my calls. I even made a face to face visit to express my displeasure, but she was "on a conference call"...sure...just like all the other times I tried to call. Yesterday, I went in for an interview at Ross Dress for Less, and the boss there said that if I passed my background check she would give me a call and bring me in the next day. Well, the next day is today, and it's 2:30pm, and I still haven't heard from her. Boy...this summer has been a whopper for my self-esteem!! ;) Just kidding. But for real...if they don't at least call me back to tell me that I'm not hired, I'm gonna have to go kick some managerial booty. Being jobless sucks.

Anyways, I think that is PLENTY for now, and since no one comments on this (except Lydia) this is kind of becoming a personal journal so hey, it works.

I hope you're having better luck at getting and keeping a job than I am! :)

Lost in Translation

I've had more time to think lately, and something I keep coming back to is priorities. Your character determines your priorities. Your priorities are built upon the foundation of the things you value. Those of us who are brought up in good, God-fearing homes value things such as honesty, selflessness and diligence. These values make up our character which in turn determines our priorities. Many seasoned Christians have been left reeling due to the moral decay that has taken place in our nation in the past even 20 years. I don't intend to unravel the intricacies of why such a drastic change has been made in so few years--that would take knowledge and expertise that I do not possess, but I can recognize patterns and make observations about the world as I knew it...and the world as I now know it.

Every single action that one carries out is based on what they value and their character and it directly reflects their priorities. From the way that one talks to others to the way he carries out everyday duties to the way he runs a business, his every action will expose his character and priorities. Every TV show, every magazine, every song that floats into our ears, every advertisement and even some messages on Sunday mornings give clues to America's priorities that have gone south. The media is there only to benefit itself. To persuade us that we should, for whatever reason, buy what they are selling so that it can make profit for itself. In our country, our character has ceased to be molded by the biblical virtues on which this nation was founded. Instead, it is now based on one of our worst enemies--our sin nature. We are now invited to indulge in our every appetite to whatever measure that we so choose...until we have satisfied that desire within ourselves. That should scare us to death. We don't even know the depths of our own depravity, and to be flirting with the enemy is a far cry from wise. It would seem that we've sold our character to the media of our time, and it is not on the lookout for our good...only its own.

I don't trust the media...I don't trust humanity...I don't trust you...I don't trust myself. Why? Because of the sin nature which was cauterized to my being the moment I could be called a person. We know that we have a sin nature...but we no nothing of the severity of this nature or the reverberations that it sends out into eternity. Even if you've committed every sin there is to commit...you have not even tapped the resevoir that is human fallenness. Our sin is worse than we know and more putrid and revolting to God than we would care to think about. Our ignorance is obvious by the kinds of things we choose to value and therefore prioritize. Our culture has programmed us to think in the here and now--our immediate wants and appetites. By adopting this mentality, we have allowed blinders to be fixed onto our eyes, and our vision is narrowed to what we want and how to get it. This is hardly the mentality that God intended when he put in the mind of Paul to write Colossians 3:2- "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."

That might sound like a strict rule lacking practicality to people these days, but God's Word is timeless--it applies to all people at all times. As I'm writing this, it is becoming clear that much of our disobedience towards God stems from our lack of knowing Him as He really is rather than how we perceive Him.

This is all that I have time to write about right now, but I'm sure it's plenty long enough to have read, and it has started a new train of thought in my head and hopefully yours.

Please give any insights or ideas. I am just another mind trying to figure this stuff out, too. More mind power is greatly needed and appreciated.

Blessings

Scattered Contemplation

So...it's hard to believe I've only been out of school for a week, but it's true. I've been job hunting, and I've applied to pretty much every restaurant in town plus Lowe's and Home Depot. One exciting outcome came from emailing a bunch of photographers from here in Decatur. One of them contacted me and asked me to come photograph at a wedding shoot in Huntsville with her which I did on Saturday from 11am-7pm. She's considering the shots from the wedding to be a kind of test to see whether she wants to hire me or not. She's supposed to contact me this week to let me know what her decision is. I would really love to get that job!

Anyways, I entitled this entry 'Scattered Contemplation' because I've been so busy that I've only had time to think in brief moments when things wind down right before they start up again. I've been thinking about prayer, faith, pain, purpose, the past and relationships. Actually I've been thinking about all of those and how they relate to God's will. I was given a book by Phillip Yancey entitled Prayer. I started to read it, but I got bored after the first few chapters. But the topic of prayer and faith is a hot one among Christians as a whole and I've heard it discussed more widely--going to a Bible college where people are intensely seeking to discover what God means in His Word, what He wants us to be and do, and how to execute His desires in everyday life.

In this area, people often have more questions than answers. For example: Why pray if God is going to do His will anyways? Why pray if I'm probably asking for the wrong things as it is? Is God going to answer my prayer if I have enough faith? What part does faith have in prayer? If I believe 100% that God will answer my prayer, will He do it? If I don't have enough faith, is God not going to answer my prayer?

If there is an answer that answers these questions completely and satisfactorily, then a lot of Christians have never heard it...whether they're in Bible college or in secular work. What they have heard are conflicting and seemingly contradictory accounts of what God will or will not do if people pray and how they pray. Being an orthodox, Bible-believing Christians means believing in the coherency of Scripture--it all fits together, and where it seems to contradict, there is actually a logically satisfactory answer for the apparent discrepancy.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 sounds very definitive and final, "pray without ceasing." Then there are the words of Jesus Himself as He speaks to His disciples who were responding in amazement of Him; these are found in Matthew 21:22, "And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith."

Okay, I could write down verse after verse, but some people would only read one thing. "If you have enough faith, your prayer will be answered." Well, here's where things get sticky and lines are drawn. Some would say that if we have the mind of Christ and are being led by the Spirit, we would never pray for something outside of God's will. I am rather doubtful of that position because of our competing flesh also at work with in us. Less powerful, yes, but equally vying for our energies. So, let's assume that Christians will, at times, pray for things outside of the will of God. They do not do this on purpose, intentionally setting themselves up against the plan of the Almighty; in fact they think they are in line with and furthering God's will by asking Him for their request. However, they are not God, they do not have His all-encompassing understanding of the greater things at work in the world. They bring their request to God humbly and genuinely and with great faith.

Now, because of their faith that their request will be answered, is God obligated--even constrained to answer their request because of their faith? Must God exact their request and grant them their desire because of their faith? I should hope the answer is obvious--no! God is not locked in a mechanical system that He Himself set up. God is not a pawn in the hand of men. So, we have that out of the way, but then there are these verses that seem to say that if we just have enough faith that God will answer of prayers, He will do it. What is to be done with these? We cannot just pick and choose what we want to be true out of the Bible; it is all true, and it is up to us to do the research to see how it all fits together in its coherent form.

As I said a few paragraphs ago, I have only had fragments of time in which to think about this issue this week, and I have barely scratched the surface on research on prayer in the Bible--much less through commentaries and the like. But, I would ask you to think through this issue and interject any thoughts you have on the matter. If I am unbalanced in my assumptions of inferences as you see it, I need to know so. I do think that having a solid theology and contemplating the actions of a God with the character we know Him to possess, we can make head way on this issue. There are no elusive secrets in the Bible that only ancient sages of theologians can understand--the Bible is for all people, and there are no secret keys needed to unlock the message of God's love and grace that the Bible contains. A real, practical and working knowledge of God serves as a filter through which we can strain the issue of prayer, faith and purpose, and I'm asking you to do that with me now. May God grant His children the wisdom and ability we need to love Him and live for Him.

Blogger Baby

So, I have never written a blog before.  I didn't see the need thanks to being an avid journaler, facebook, myspace, email and everyday conversations.  However, after thinking about it, I've decided that blogging could be a very beneficial thing.  I write poetry and journal alot as I mentioned before, but I've never written much that was intended for anyone's eyes but my own.  What a blog would force me to do is write carefully and coherently, to write in a logical vein of thought so that others can understand exactly what it is that I'm trying to say.  It can also be beneficial to blog at this time in my life when I have so many ideas and theories and questions floating around in my head...thus the pithy title of "Thought Air Balloons" because all the thoughts in my head are like hot air balloons climbing towards the sky.  I would rather those hot air balloons fly in a manageable pattern with purpose as they rise at a steady pace towards a meaningful end.  I realize that to do that I will need to pull wisdom and experience from the pool that my audience makes up.  Your wisdom, your insights into my scattered thoughts can not only direct my hot air balloons but aid me in my journey for truth, reality and life lived well.  

My aspirations for this blog is that it will be interesting, entertaining, meaningful and a source of deep thought.  Any and every comment will be much appreciated and taken to heart...and mind...as I think the realities of life, truth and God.